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syahida
perfection of unperfect

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12.5.08
4:45 AM

too many things happen these days.and each time, it takes little of my trust from each person that i know...i keep thinking of an answer but i cannot seem to comprehend the whole situation...and people that i thought i could trust,quickly making all impression on such things..i wonder if, in first place, if they really reflect it on them before go around making fuss out of it? are sure that you are so innocent when only God knows about the truth..and yeah, dumb me if in the world so huge like this, you can't blame a single living thing..but i am NOT the person who is like that..stand up and be a human,ladies and gentleman...maybe it's my fault,or maybe it's yours...?think about it cos i shall say that what ever it is..i am sick of been blamed.. talk to me if it's the truth,cos you look so dumb mocking around like others are some stupid robots that worship you...and nothing will change any relationship if it's really based on trust and sincerity..but one too many relationships that i have been in ONLY about taking advantages on others...and i guess i am just stup*d....and to few only people that still holding on...thank you
and i hope it's not for any wrong reasons cos frankly, if you want to walk away or just bluffing me, you better do it now before your trust on me is DEAD or mine on you has lost!

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28.4.08
6:38 AM

ever wonder why secret ever exist? i think because we lack of faith in someone or something that it occurs..and because of our guilty towards anybody or anything that leads us to be secretive.but to tell you the truth, i never have secrets in my life...but now, i guess i want to keep my opinion and thought as secret to myself and few "people" that i believe in cause each day i only find frustration in others that i thought are my friends...i am sick of some people that in my eyes, ONLY bragging about how good they are compare to others but did not really do what they said..and in the same time actually feel so unsecured about themselves that they start to accused others of being not what they are...i feel sad because i could only see but cannot talk my mind as i am too, feel like it is not my problem...and that's my secret..i have done lots a thinking and i feel that maybe, this are not my real friends...if you are my friend, why are you so afraid to tell anything to my face instead of talking at the back? how secretive is that, if from ur face, i could read it all..what is it in life that you are not satisfy about? u have the same chances as all of us and sometimes even better than anyone..i wonder what change you, cos i can only see that u are becoming not you more and more..and if that's the way that u choose, i would gladly wish u good luck cos i am not losing anything if i lose a friend like you. you sure will be great memories in my life as you thought me a lot about faith and where i suppose to keep it....do remember that u will always have my shoulder to lean on when you are sad or unhappy and it' ok for me if you did not want me when you are happy...cos friend are not just being happy rite? if only you know..

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26.4.08
3:46 PM

This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shakin off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can u see what I see

They're tryin to come back, all my senses push
Un-tie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
But something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need

What u need, what u need...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do u see what I see...


take time to realise that life is not only jut one straight highway in our life....

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25.4.08
3:03 AM

tonight, He granted me a small time to spend on my wishes.and i did wish to spend it with someone. everyday since i got to know this person, i wish to have some little time to hang out with him. this person just reminds me of someone. but not only because he reminds me of that someone but i actually love to spend the time with him...it feels so much fun, and i feel like i am my own self. but maybe i say such a statement blindly because of my interest on him..and i know it is unfair...i am wondering myself if this is a right thing to write and in myself, to put such confidence..but it does feel different and i cannot resist a slightest thought about this person each day...the thought of him, his saying make my day happier even when i did not feel like wake up on each early mornings nor having to work through all night.and still i am wondering if this is something that i should consider as falling in love? because if so, i don't have confident to keep my feeling shows or to see him each day when i know that in future i will not be seeing him anymore..time will heal each time, that's the way life is but to tell truth, i could not think of a day without not remembering him...so weird, i feel like crying each time...i found it funny too as i am not this type of person who are putting hope in a person to be liked back.but, He gave me some times from my remaining days in life, to meet someone like him that really make my world turn upside down and sometimes seems unreasonable...regardless of how the person feels about me, i just want sometimes to waste on you even when i am hurt at the end...i am glad to say, if i were to be alone till the end, i am glad that i once fell in love with someone even it's only for one tick of time.and even you did not realise this, i'll keep all matters to you and me only...ke-nyang~

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9.4.08
4:31 PM

the days are going by very slowly these days.. i wonder is it only me that feel that way or maybe others feel it too...i'm in my quarter stage of living a student life....with God willing, maybe i'll be employed by next year...but my interview session with Petronas not really encouraging as i feel so lethargic and only answered the question without putting effort to impressed the interviewees....i feel so mad to myself....anyway, i guess, i cannot keep this frustration till now as there's more in my life other than thinking over it.

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8.4.08
12:27 AM

The little things, you do to me are
Taking me over, i wanna show ya
Everything inside of me
Like a nervous heart that, is crazy beating
My feet are stuck here, against the pavement
I wanna break free, i wanna make it
Closer to your eyes, get your attention
Before you pass me by

So back up back up take another chance
Don't you mess up mess up I don't wanna lose you
Wake up wake up this aint just a thing that you
Give up give up don't you say that I'd be
Better off better off, sleepin by myself and wonderin
If im better off better off, with out you boy

So don't just leave me hanging on

And every time, you notice me by
Holdin me closely, and sayin sweet things
I don't believe, that it could be
You speekin your mind and, sayin the real thing
My feet have broke free, and i am leavin
I'm not gonna stand here, feelin lonely but
I wont forget you, and i won't think this
Was just a waste of time

So back up back up take another chance
Don't you mess up mess up I don't wanna lose you
Wake up wake up this aint just a thing that you
Give up give up don't you say that I'd be
Better off better off, sleepin by myself and wonderin
If im better off better off, with out you boy

But don't just leave me hangin on.

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31.3.08
3:48 AM

i just don't feel right...it's sucks!

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